veruca-assault:

ms-kawesome:

The next time a man starts yelling at you, cut him off and tell him you just can’t talk to him when he’s being so emotional.

I have done this and can confirm that is a LOT of fun to watch them implode afterward.

heckacute:

My favorite pick-up line is “The inside of my nose is really cold. Do you think you could put your tongue in there to warm it?” Then they put their tongue up your nose and that’s pretty much the same thing as kissing, I think.

sexybaldwin:

chess-ka:

words-are-vibrations:

tyraditar:

tyraditar:

night vale is full of thought provoking humour and beautifully inspirational monologues but “subway? more like wowza” will always be one of the best things it’s ever come up with

it’s right at the top of the list with “what’s an egg” and “i never knew school cleaning appliances were so strong”

"Mountains? More like nothings" 

"Nice try, giant worms.

"And I was like, whatever, rich guy!”

when he’s explaining quidditch to harry, olliver wood doesn’t understand the reference to basketball, yet when they start out practicing catching, they use “ordinary golf balls.”

conclusion: wizards play golf

cheesoisuncool:

new traffic light color ideas

  • purple: turn around and go back
  • mega green: like green except greener. it means that you have to double go.
  • cyan: apply your turbo boosters and do a cool drift or get arrested by the car law
  • black: sucks you into a cyber vortex where you have to do a bonus stage road and collect rings

casualcissexism:

phantomthelabrat:

princestyle
:

They’re selling homestuck shirts at hot topic, brace yourselves a storm is coming kiddos.

image

There’s your proof, that was on my IG dash.

Actually, this is official! This was the shirt that Hot Topic picked to put in their stores after the WeLoveFine contest! No need to be mad!

image

…Except they fucking whitewashed the artists work and you should be even more mad…

LMAO NICE PARTNERSHIP IDEA WHATPUMPKIN, WE ALL KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE YOUR WHITE KIDS!!!!!!

i can’t find it on the hottopic site but if it’s real 

god damn it

kawaiigod:

sex in the shower? no. slip and bust my ass. break my dick. she slippin too. she knock her head on the tile she passed out. bleedin. i cant walk cause my jimmy snapped. thought this was gonna be sexy and we both end up half dead.

pancakestein:

they finally managed to get their hair to look nice and those assholes got drunk and just sort of followed them around

pancakestein:

they finally managed to get their hair to look nice and those assholes got drunk and just sort of followed them around